I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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