I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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