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party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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