He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
