we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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