i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
