elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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