ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Randomize
