I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
not ubering you a puppy
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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