you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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