The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
