we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
