I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
