It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
soo... how was my night?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
