Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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