Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
