he puts the penis in happiness.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
