How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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