his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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