i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
