At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
