What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
