You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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