I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
