Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
