Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
