sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
