I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
