Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
