Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
