I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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