I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
