Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
