he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
