At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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