Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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