lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
