Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
