it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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