You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
