I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
