Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
