We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
this just has baby written all over it
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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