Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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