Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
