Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
