Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
