i think my tv is drunk
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
