ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
