I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
