dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
