His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
This is classic penis vs brain.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
