So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
