My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Such a big mess for such a small penis
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
