he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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