YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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