after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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