And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
third nipple confirmed
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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