I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
