So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
