Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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