just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
