No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Do you still have your period?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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