Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
The struggles of a small town man whore
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
