I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize