what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
