im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize