my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
It's rum buckets o'clock
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
