I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
