I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
