she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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