Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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