I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
