Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Randomize
